I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE!

It's Sunday morning in spring. I've just wakened.
I see the gray outside, and hear a heavenly, soft wind through the crack in the window.
The wind sounds like music.
I smile and turn over remembering it's Sunday.
Sunday, a day I often set goals like any other. What shall they be?

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE!

The wind talking, the trees bending, the leaves changing the melody.
I reach to the stand beside my bed and slip in A Beethoven CD.
I can't seem to get enough of him since 33 Variations and The Soloist.
I stay still lulled by the sounds and the wind.
My mind drifts to the dance concert last evening with Barb.
The National Dance Co. of Spain.
Amazing choreography to Debussy and Schubert.
Dancers barely clad, no color, only amazing bodies.
Strength, motion, form, sound.
Somewhat like the wind and the trees.
All a meditation.
My drive home an experience of being one with my car.
I stay with Beethoven, I stay with daydreaming, I stay connected.

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE.

I am naked in bed, inspired by the body forms that I'd taken in.
Wanting to feel the simplicity, the form of me.
Still bird songs outside. I smile, pleasuring.
Thinking of treasures, Thinking of love.
Wonderful memories of a Granddaughter's birthday, a Grandson's swim lesson.
Wonderful moments of the week past.

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE.

I climb out of bed, smoothing the sheets and spread to my liking.
What next?
I suddenly know I must stay with this sensuous dance.
It's a commitment. It's important.
I don a soft patterned caftan, tights, my silk T.
No elastic strips, no tightness. Only soft, sensuous.
My gray hair looks soft and right in the mirror,
A constant challenge always.
A face wash,, a warm rinse, slow, dear.
I reach for the cologne, my favorite scent,
And allow myself its essence,


I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE.

A cup of coffee?
A snack? Or breakfast?
I remember the baked sweet potato strips, the horseradish dip
Tucked neatly on the frig shelf. For breakfast?
They accompany me to my deck, closer to the wind, the songs, the green.
Sweet tastes, fresh air, hot coffee.

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE.

I stare into the woods, so full now, leafed to perfection
I see the tall, dead tree rising bare against the abundance.
That must come out, I think.
It's a flaw.
But the branches suddenly look like arms raised in dance,
The trunk a torso arched by a throbbing heart, topped with a head inspired.
My desire changes. I see the sculpture, the life in the wood,
The message.

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE, I think.

And I have.

Staging for selling your home IS declutteringt!!!

I'm just back from staging a wonderful contemporary home in Bucks County, to be sold. It's on a wooded property that houses deer, birds of all sorts and open grassy areas with gardens. It's truly a find for nature lovers who also want a very open footprint and lots of windows!

My point in writing this blog is not to sell this home. It's to speak to you of what I learned in my process with this client. As you know, "staging" is the way you get a home ready to appeal to the crowds of people who are going to come and see whether this house is right for them. I could even reword that last sentence to say it is the process that hopefully depersonalizes the space so the first potential buyer falls in love! The word "depersonalize" is key.

The way this couple and I began is that I wandered the house alone putting myself in the role of customer, so I could decide what was preventing me from seeing the house clearly. I wanted to witness the architecture, the views, the space, the hominess, the function, the possibilities. I wanted to see if the house showed itself to me with clarity. I made notes of ways to be sure that this objective was reached.

I then presented my "list of things to change" to the owners assuring them that my list had their sale in mind, and was not a summary of offending judgments. They liked the list and we began. We moved anything and everything that hid the structure (the bones) of the house. We took down or removed anything that was extremely personal such as family pictures, religious symbols, extreme styles, and out of balance design.

This space has been home to this couple for twelve years. We all know that amount of time can bring in a lot of new stuff, and it had! Favorite seasonal effects had remained because of their success. Functional needs had been added without the thought to design, Gifts had been incorporated so the givers would be satisfied. New plants and off shoots of old plants had been repotted and given birthing spots on window sills. All told there was a lot of work to do, and I encouraged my clients to let go and see.

Well, the results were dramatic! As we got out the step ladders, filled boxes and shifted furniture slightly, we re-exposed the amazing structure of this wonderful building. Not only that but we brought the awesome views into the space. My clients were dumbfounded. It was such a lesson for all of us about LESS IS MORE! The space began to breathe. The wonderful colors began to shine. The few remaining plants showed off their graceful silhouettes. The walls emerged from behind "overhung spaces."

So you, who are reading this blog, listen carefully. I am speaking about "staging," and I'm also writing this as an ode to overdone homes that have "lost their beauty." Beauty is important. It is TRUTH. I big you to declutter so you will re-establish the beauty that is inherent in your home. Trust that in so doing, you are not only honoring the bones of the space you originally selected but, you are putting an end to over-consuming, you are establishing healthy boundaries, you are simplifying your life, and you are managing a look/style that serves and nourishes the inner you.

It's amazing!

Ode To A Patio Rebirth!

Patricia Garrett , a friend and fellow warrior wrote this wonderful piece to me regarding the makeover of the patio/garden connected to her home in LA. I was so impressed that I wanted you to read it.
Enjoy and learn!

Hi Denny!

The neglect began the day the apricot tree, which had been the source

of so many delicious apricot daqueris died. I didn't even want to see

where it had once stood, shading a corner of our patio. The potted

plants that I had lovingly placed around the patio had also either died
or just managed to survive with no attention. This sorry state of affairs

continued for over 2 years aided by the fact we were never home for

more than 8 or 10 days at a time during the past few summers. I'd

just have the opportunity to catch up with things inside, when it was

time to pack up and leave again. Ahhh, but then THIS summer came

along. We had arranged to travel less and spend almost the entire

summer at home. I walked outside one day in May and was shocked at

the state of disrepair. I had simply stopped seeing. This was the

summer to open my eyes. (Love this, Pat!)

Since I had read What Color Is Your Slipcover, I had a file with pictures
of gardens and patios that called to me. It was time to use it!

The next step was a call to a woman who had been featured in the
LA Times garden section. After "Hello.", I simply blurted out," I have
a back yard in Brentwood that needs your help!" She laughed and
turned out to be just the right person. As I was doing this without
the enthusiastic agreement of Dave it was necessary to keep the
$$$$ to a minimum and the impact tothe maximum. Every decorator's
nightmare! But we did it. Instead of removing all the cracked concrete,
we had the cracks jackhammered and inserted black stones into the
now wider spaces. We removed a wall, added a water fountain, a fire
cauldron and replanted the pots, most with succulents. Before the work
was begun I thought about what I wanted most from the space. My
answer was tranquility and romance. Once the major work was
completed, I quickly set about seeing to those aspects. I found lanterns
to hang, mirrors which reflect the sun and make "fireflies" dance all
patio, amber lights to swag and even a chandelier with real candles
over the dining table.

After viewing Momma Mia with some friends I decided I had the perfect

setting for a party ala the film. I ordered Greek food, set up one

long table laid out for 24 guests and the fun began. Each guest was

charmed by the setting and my patio was officially reborn. It is now a

major effort to drag myself out of my hammock and into the real world.

I make it a priority to spend part of each day there, either reading,

working with the plants or blowing bubbles for my grandkids. I am

once again so very happy to have a back patio that has become a
place of peace in my life.

Love, Pat

Getting Past Overwhelm

Yesterday I worked with a client who is planning a renovation that begins with a new kitchen. Stunned by catalogues that included pages and pages of cabinet door images, floor tile images, plumbing fixture illustrations etc. etc. she found herself more frightened than happy about the project. Her husband was leaving most of the style choices to her, and she didn’t have a clue where to start. Her builder called me into action. “See if you can help,” he directed.

She is a mother of a 19 month old, so getting to the job of cutting out pictures to reflect her style didn’t get done. I believe so deeply in the need to get a handle on one’s style before ever starting purchases, so I suggested that our first hour together be devoted to her going through the magazines and the two of us evaluating what was there speaking to her. She agreed out of desperation (I think) and while she went through magazines I wandered the house returning from time to time and checking in. It was a great process. She knew readily when she looked at a picture, whether she liked it or not. Combining what I saw in the house, I began to put lots of possibilities to her for consideration and affirmation. We became a fabulous team so quickly.

“I’m seeing no focus or pattern on the floor in any of your pictures!” I said. She looked and agreed.

‘Notice how there is no shine on the floor, but lots on the counter and above.“ I showed her.

Her house was filled with color. I asked her about colors she loved, about whether she loved real art as opposed to prints, and whether she loved collage. I noticed how often there were pendent lights in her pictures. She was having fun, and learning a lot about herself with this organized way of selecting.

The crowning moment was when she pulled out that cabinet catalogue again and saw the 75 images begging to be chosen. “This, she said is when I get overwhelmed. And it happens in the midst of meetings and everyone waiting for my choices.”

I methodically showed her each kitchen picture she had pulled out of that pile of magazines. Show me the cabinet image in the catalogue that represents the cabinets in this picture. IT WAS ALWAYS THE SAME IMAGE.

Now her smile was broad. “Do you see how consistent you are?” I said. She nodded.

“Do you know how easy it is going to finally be when you have to choose?”

“I think I do.” She said.

We continued for a short time to keep evaluating and narrowing into who she was, and what would work best so that she was daily inspired by her environment. The process took just an hour for now, and had her ready for the big guns when she had to be confidant that A was better than B for her kitchen. I left my happy client with the assignment to “Do some more.” She promised she would. And I promised myself I would insist on this hour of planning with every client that is willing, so the design, the renovation and everything in between is pure joy and success. I say this for every designer to hear, and for every client to do.

PLEASE!

This Is So Important!

This is so important!

I am just back in Pennsylvania from a trip to California and up into Malibu where my son and daughter-in-law have just bought a magnificent home overlooking the Pacific. We had many long conversations about the inner space of that home and it re-ignited that fire in me about how important it is to each have input/a voice into the process of design of the home!

When we were discussing how they were going to approach their spaces I could hear/see differences in their individual needs/preferences. One was liking it cooler and simpler, the other warmer and a bit more complex. But they have heard me enough to know they must find their consensus in order to begin. They will be working with a designer in California, so they now need to find their words, their common ground to be able to communicate to this professional just what it is they as individuals and they as a couple want. This will allow each of them on a daily basis to resonate deeply with their surroundings, their HOME.

We bought them piles of magazines. They will each go through them individually cutting out all the images, colors, shapes, essences that make them feel SO GOOD! (See the chapter on “Finding Your Common Ground” in my book). Then they’ll exchange their pile of selections and each go through the other’s collection of favorites. They’ll extract from each other’s pile their individual favorites again. Now they’ve created a third pile, which is their consensus. That third pile of pictures is their key to both of them loving their home.”.

To use this process they must take careful note of just what it is they like AND WHAT THE OTHER IS LIKING! They need to talk about what their current life is, and how they need to orient and organize their space to fit that lifestyle. If quality time is spent doing this work and seeing all the characteristics, talking about them, and understanding them, then they’ll be able to talk to their professional in a more profound way. Then he/she can transpose it all onto to the space of their beloved cocoon, and it will guarantee surroundings that represent both of them, deeply. When they open the door from a long day out in the external world, the nest will welcome each of them on the heart level and bring them solace and joy.

As we spoke I could clearly see the metaphor. If two persons can come together and find their agreement, the oneness that does live in both, they will have found the place from which they can live their life together with profound compassion and understanding. If countries, states, communities can do this also, then we all will feel at home on the planet and be able to live in total compassion and understanding of each other.

When one or the other suppresses who they truly are, or ignores their truths, then intimacy, knowing, possibility and true transparency is lost, and equality and balance are not possible. Do the work! Take the time! Bring your hearts and your souls to the table of dialogue, respect what each wants and needs so the intention for happiness and peace while living together has much more possibility. You’ll be teaching everyone on the planet how to live together.

They Decided To Move "Within" Their Home

They decided to move “within” their home!

I got a call. “ We’re so excited! We’re moving the master bedroom downstairs, my office into the guest bedroom, creating a family room where my office was and making the old master bedroom the guest bedroom!” they said.

“WOW!” I said. “That’s powerful stuff.”

“Yep. Come as soon as you can. We need to talk."

I got over there pronto. I was excited. I knew they had just moved a beloved business out of the house, one of them had been through a huge heart transformation, and they’d been visiting retirement centers to decide whether to sell and go, or to stay. So, you can see that this news was big and powerful. It turns out that the deer grazing outside the windows, the sun streaming through all day, a new kitchen just one year old, and this new essence without the business was just so dear and therefore had won out over security, safe planning and the advice of many.

I was not one of the many saying “Sell.” They had consulted me during their process, and I had encouraged taking the route of doing what felt fabulous and powerful to their lives now (are you surprised?) I don’t think I was the only one touting that formula, but I was so ecstatic to hear their decision.

We are now deep in the process of creating, shuffling, and rearranging. I wish you could see it. The home is very Scandinavian in appearance, lots of windows looking out onto woods and fields, a deck shooting out into the trees. Their driveway is a bear when icy, but they can choose to sit tight until it thaws. Nice!

Well, the master bedroom will now be a room 16x20 square feet looking out into the woods. The bathroom is a nice size, which is getting new tile, and fantastic glass bowls for sinks. A door is being added to open into large closets that used to be the “coat rooms.” They’re choosing very daring colors and application, and they took up the wall-to-wall carpet to expose the wonderful maple wood floor. They told me they feel the space is so sexy!

Well, in a market that is less than booming, a “move within” is a fabulous choice, and especially if you’re in favor of doing what the heart desires. I suggest that it be the path we all take - no matter what!

My Gift To You!

I remember reading in a January issue of Life Magazine (remember Life?) years ago how so many of us go into "Love Crisis"just after the holidays . The gist of the article was that this crisis comes out of our expectations of the holiday; expectations that are so high they can't possibly be fulfilled. I must admit that the article pegged me. January has always been a challenge, so I was grateful to find out why.

Expectations are so dangerous. They can foul us up in relationship, in our jobs, and especially when life deals us a blow. The saying that "It's not what life deals you that matters, but how you respond" is not an easy concept, but it is one that can make a difference in how you live out all of your life no matter what.

I received an e mail from a friend/client/reader named Virginia today. Virginia lives far away from me and came to me through reading my book. We've talked often over cyberspace about environment, her exercise progress through Carl's Beachbody.com, or a fast question she has for me about what to buy. But today's e mail slipped into some of her life reality, and I knew I had to share it with you for it had home, the holidays, expectations and love all wrapped up within. So in honor of Virginia and Bill (who is dealing with cancer,) I give you the gift of a window into their creativity.

Virginia writes ; " We are cherishing every moment, even the ones that aren't particularly pleasant because either way they ARE our moments and we've no guarantee of more. The past two days have been wonderful. After several months of being confined to home by Bill's low blood counts and only having a few foods he was allowed to eat ... we are FREE!!! LOL Not 10 minutes after the nurse called Monday we were giggling and sitting in a restaurant ready to devour huge salads. Never has lettuce tasted so delicious!

When your granulocyte (infection fighters) counts are low enough you can't eat fresh fruits or vegetables, raw grains or nuts, any meats that are well done, mayonaise, yogurt, or foods from deli counters. The list gets endless. Even my flowering plants had to find new homes. Add the restriction of going no place with more that 2-3 other people present and no school age kids around. Well, I'm sure you can imagine.

With the freedom comes a week of chemo, which will drive the counts down and confine us to home again. We are celebrating every single moment. Seeing friends, hugging people, being in crowds, it all feels fantastic. It takes a lot of work to maintain a happy outlook during the times we are confined. We've developed an ongoing Scrabble tournament, (I'm winning) we read from a book each night at dinner and discuss whatever the topic, we have dates right here at home. Mostly we've learned to be very respectful of each other's needs, whether that's a hand to hold or space to scream. This time has made our marriage much stronger."



Thank you, Virginia. My day today has been far better due to this e mail. I find myself so inspired on so many levels. To know that you have worked hard to create a home that you love, and to discover how it is serving you and Bill now is powerful. But Virginia, it's one thing to have your space ready. It's another to use it creatively. You and Bill are a fabulous example of "making it work and getting past your expectations." Thank you for your words.

No matter how we celebrate this time of the year as the light returns, may our homes support us and our beliefs, and assist us in every moment as we live out who we are and what life has offered. I pray that we see it all as a gift and live as deeply and honestly as Virginia and Bill.

Happy Holidays, Denny